(no subject)

I had a dream last week, I saw dirtybunny. She was there, I was hugging her, holding on so tight, wrapped my arms all around her. She asked what happened. I told her, "You died." And her body went limp, she wasn't there anymore, I had broken the spell by telling her she died. I was trying to hug her back into her body, yelling at her to come back come back come back. She came back. But I was already waking up, sobbing. I couldn't get the dream back. I shouldn't have turned my head or opened my eyes, I would have been able to get back to her.

I had two dreams the week before she died last year. Very vivid. An owl, a very small white owl. It was small and round and barely looked like an owl, aside from the large eyes. I was sitting in a room, a bedroom I think. I was sitting on the floor and the owl was in the room but not close to me. I felt anxious, it wasn't cute, it wasn't threatening, but I moved away from it as it moved toward me. It was disconcerting. The dream didn't feel like a dream. I knew it was a dream as I was dreaming it but it felt real. It felt so real, I had to search for its' "dream meaning" online. Every site said it meant death. Or change. They always say, "or change," when it really means death. And I put it aside; things are always changing.

And then she was dead.