elegy

she died just off pleasant drive near napanee

been swapping off for almost a week

but that morning it was just me.

she'd stripped off her diaper and clothes

and stopped rubbing her breasts in discomfort

her last words unintelligible days before.

they came in after sunrise to clean her

i asked them to cover her, open-backed hospital gown

from the look on her face, thought i'd fucked up somehow

paused too long, i tried to explain - they're coming today.

he had been so ashamed of her nakedness

the comfort sought from her nipples and breasts

she thought i was protecting my dignity, not his.

kept quiet and took the moment to smoke

got back as they finished, nearly choked seeing

the victorian high-necked laced-trimmed nightdress

instead of the breezy near-naked calming green shift.

wheezing worse after being turned, they said fluid filling her chest

called during their breakfast said now. get here now. and they left

put down the handset.

she jogged thru the door said now. come with me now. and i left

think there were three of them standing there.

apologized for the horrible gown, told her they were on their way now

just ten more minutes, please.

then no more wheezing, a few caught breaths in her chest

my face to her ear, made sure the last words she heard were

you are loved

you're not alone

even if they weren't all true.