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Oct. 6th, 2005 09:56 ambeen reading my old and familiar books - they seem to have more depth now (robertson davies, i miss you.)
reading some i've only read once or so as well, bukowski at the moment (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dirtybunny introduced me to his writing.) sometimes i can't bear to read him, truthfully. there is something like sadness/loneliness in his words that, despite the honesty and starkness, leaves me feeling somehow more hopeless. i struggle to make sense of the feelings he evokes - i have lead such a sheltered life so far from the edges...yes, a feeling of impending cliffdom - it's like he boils it all down to nothing and holds it there for you to realize - it's all fucking nothing, man.
someone once called me the brick at the end of everyone's balloon - it's kind of the same feeling.
ah! once, on a plane. really bad turbulance. really bad. there was a moment when we dropped what felt like fathoms and my mum grabbed my arm reflexively; when i looked at her face i saw panic (which is rare, for my mum,) and when i grabbed my own armrest i realized there was nothing on the plane to hold onto that wasn't also going down if we crashed.
that's what i feel like sometimes when i read bukowski; like anything i try and grab for is also going down.
also, he's one of the few writers that have made me laugh out loud.
( Read more... )
reading some i've only read once or so as well, bukowski at the moment (
dirtybunny introduced me to his writing.) sometimes i can't bear to read him, truthfully. there is something like sadness/loneliness in his words that, despite the honesty and starkness, leaves me feeling somehow more hopeless. i struggle to make sense of the feelings he evokes - i have lead such a sheltered life so far from the edges...yes, a feeling of impending cliffdom - it's like he boils it all down to nothing and holds it there for you to realize - it's all fucking nothing, man.someone once called me the brick at the end of everyone's balloon - it's kind of the same feeling.
ah! once, on a plane. really bad turbulance. really bad. there was a moment when we dropped what felt like fathoms and my mum grabbed my arm reflexively; when i looked at her face i saw panic (which is rare, for my mum,) and when i grabbed my own armrest i realized there was nothing on the plane to hold onto that wasn't also going down if we crashed.
that's what i feel like sometimes when i read bukowski; like anything i try and grab for is also going down.
also, he's one of the few writers that have made me laugh out loud.
( Read more... )
