rule number one

Gonsoulin tried to sneak across the Canadian border from North Dakota into Winnipeg in late February. But having spent his entire life in warm climates, he wasn't prepared for a Canadian winter. He suffered severe frostbite and hypothermia after four days in the outdoors trying to trek about seven kilometres, and was babbling incoherently when an RCMP officer found him.

http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/EdmontonSun/News/2005/04/01/978915-sun.html

"I did it to prove that I would go to the ends of the Earth for this woman."

sorry - x gets the square budday. you didn't prove anything aside from your lack of research skills and poor planning. and last time i checked, the ends of the Earth were not located in the 7 kilometres between the N. Dakota border and Winnipeg. good luck finishing your trek minus your digits.

"I'm so proud of him. He's my hero," Jennifer Couture, 43, said Thursday from her home province of Quebec.

proud of him for what? losing multiple body parts from ignorance and exposure in an attempt to walk from california to quebec? your hero? - oh yay! we should all have such heroes in our lives...people we can count on to get lost or die trying. nothing like shooting for the moon baby.

Mitch Hedberg

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see a escalator "Temporarily Out of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs... Sorry for the Convenience ... We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get a hold of me they just say "Mitch," and I say "What?" and turn my head slightly ...

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I wrote a letter to my dad — I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so I crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad — there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away ...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg